I Like What I Like

 

I started reading again perhaps two years ago, as I wanted to become more eloquent in the way that I spoke and wrote.

I found that I was really into self-help books, life stories & also a bit of fiction to escape reality and unleash my imagination to endless possibilities.

People don’t always quite understand how I’m that girl who loves intellect but will also watch trash TV. When in fact, it’s for the exact same reason. It allows me to escape reality.

When we look into this common word “Reality”, what does it really mean? In actuality according to the English dictionary, it is defined as “the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them” ok cool, makes sense. Then I thought let me check Urban Dictionary and see how the younger generation describe it and I came across the below.

“That which is manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, and by religious and political groups to distort people’s views of things and events.”  

They couldn’t be more contradictory.

Now if you were to ask me? I wouldn’t be able to give a straight answer because my reality is completely different to yours. It is subject to your own individuality.

As you grow up you start to see the world from another perspective. Nothing is as black and white as it seems. This post was sparked by some recent conversations I’ve been having. For instance if the following questions were posed to me back when I was 15 years old then again now 10years later at age 25 – the answers would be completely different. Few examples below:

What’s your type?
15yr Old AJ – (I probably would’ve said a specific race)
25yr Old AJ – No type, I like what I like. As long as I vibe with that person, they have the same energy and is sexually attractive to me.

Do you forgive & forget?
15yr Old AJ – No I will hold a grudge.
25yr Old AJ – Forgive but don’t forget. Just because someone else handled a situation not necessarily the way I would have, doesn’t make it automatically wrong. It’s just not how I would’ve done it. Give chances, people make mistakes but if you keep letting me down then I will eventually distant you.

Does body count matter?
15yr Old AJ – Yes. Whoever sleeps with more than 5 people is a slut.
25yr Old AJ – I only care about mine. I carry certain morals however I cannot judge if somebody wants to have multiple sexual partners. It’s their body. Do you hunny.

Do you want to be rich & famous?
15yr Old AJ – Yes. Of course (so dumb)
25yr Old AJ – Nah not at all, fame can be destructive. I want to be successful. Whether fame comes into it is another story but I’m definitely not striving for it. I find that keeping to myself is less distractive and I can focus on what I need to. Money doesn’t define happiness, I’m ok with being financially comfortable.

Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions

Where do you want to live when you’re older?
15yr Old AJ – America, that’s where all the opportunities are and it gets hot.
25yr Old AJ – I want to remain in London, the most multi-cultural & least segregated city with so many great things to do.

What do you think about Gay & Transgender people?
15yr Old AJ – It’s wrong (so ignorant)
25yr Old AJ – I don’t totally understand it so I can’t speak on it. From what I’ve seen on documentaries, it seems more of a natural thing than a choice. 

There is no longer a social norm I can identify with, except yes I might choose Heinz ketchup over Asda value (but I promise there’s a taste difference) lol.

I am now in the phase of creating my own norms as opposed to what may be typically socially expected by me. With age comes knowledge (information acquired through experience and education) in my case – my reality. How I’ve lived, what I’ve learned & how I currently live. I look forward to seeing if my answers were to change in the next 10 years time.

Be open to discussion and debates. This is why podcasts are great.

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Life is like a box of chocolates.. but sometimes less sweeter.

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN, AJ’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND.

Ayeeeee if you didn’t read that first line in Eminem’s voice then we got real issues.

That’s right though, I took a long damn break from here, my last post was in 2016 which is terrible. I apologise ya’ll.

So what have I been doing during all this time? Honestly, life has been crazy. 2017 was undeniably one of the most challenging years for me from some serious lows to some extreme highs. I experienced turbulence as well as memorable exciting moments from personal affairs, health problems to business ventures.  John Lennon had this quote “everything will be ok in the end, if it’s not ok it’s not the end” something I’ve kinda had to keep in mind when things didn’t go the way I planned. There’s nothing wrong with making plans, I mean it’s only natural to set out goals for yourself but what you do need to be prepared for is overcoming obstacles and realising life is so unpredictable.
It’s the unexpected that changes our lives”  

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You know them ones that front and say “I stay winning” yeah na, I’ve definitely had achievements but I’m also brave enough to say I’ve taken a few L’s in the past year. Prideful AJ would’ve never admitted that back in the day but you have to trial and error, it’s the only way you live and you learn.

I’ve met some amazing people that play an integral part of keeping me motivated. They help me elevate by constantly inspiring, encouraging and supporting me. They’re the type of homies you need around. One of my girls praised me and said “I’m really proud of the women you are maturing into” she then checked me and said “what happened to your blog, that was your thing” told her I didn’t have time or that it wasn’t my priority anymore, truth is I was just lazy. I didn’t make time or make it my priority. What a bum mentality.

Right now, it’s a Saturday night, first quiet one I’ve had alone in a while. I have a deadline on Monday so I thought I might as well get some work done. In the background I was listening to Chris Stapleton – Tennessee Whiskey. I couldn’t even concentrate because his voice was giving me shivers. So beautifully soulful. Had it on repeat. Yes hard to believe – I like country music too (didn’t have much choice – I grew up on it because of my dad) so once in a blue moon I might buss a few Kenny Rogers or Dolly Parton here and there.

He performed alongside Justin Timberlake at the BRIT Awards 2018. Forward to 2:10, that’s where the magic begins. Loved it.

Anyways… long story short I saw someone on the TL mention a song from Nipsey Hustle’s debut album Victory Lap so I thought I’d check it out. I switched the music and was like “Ooooooouuu this is very deeeeecent” and immediately started reviewing it in my head.

Lately I haven’t really paid attention to the Hip Hop scene, the last albums I downloaded were Black Panther : The Album by Kendrick Lamar and Tables Turn by Fredo (both dope I must say). All I’d really been in the mood to listen to prior to this was Reggae, I’m talking all the Marleys, Sizzla, Marlon Asher, Buju Banton etc. I’m just out of touch.

I’d like to consider myself someone who’s very attentive to music, I have an eclectic ear and appreciate all sounds. Sometimes I can be into jazzy vibes like FKJ & Masego – Tadow and other times I’m in the mood for female vocals like Mahalia – Sober.

I could’ve written so much about the music that came out last year, It’s too late now but when I think about the albums that dropped from the top of my head:

Ctrl – SZA
4:44 – Jay Z
FR32 – Wretch 32
Laila’s Wisdom – Rapsody
Wamp 2 Dem – Giggs
Stoney Hill – Damian Marley
DAMN – Kendrick Lamar
Sixteen – Donae’o

There’s honestly too many to list.. my point is; it would’ve been great content.

I’m not going to false promise and say that I will continuously write and update the blog regularly because I’m not sure I can commit to it, but I will say that I’ll most certainly try to as frequently as I possibly can, and I won’t hit the pause button for this long again.

I’m in the process of finishing Richard Branson’s autobiography Loosing My Virginity (took me ages, it’s as long as the last Harry Potter mate). One thing I notice throughout it, is how fearless he is. So admirable. I’m not YET a risk taker like that at all.. but I want to be. He did however heavily influence me, and I’ve now taken things from that book and applied it to my reality (I’ve even proposed something at work which looks prospective) so that’s good.

I mean just look at this…. DONNY IS SICK!

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A few were failures, but majority were successful and now man owns a friggin island.

Remember, It’s okay to be in a state of confusion (I was) which is why I lost my passion to write. Imagine, I even considered seeing a fortune teller to give me some sort or clarity about where my future is heading, but instead I decided to take steps to amplify myself. Read books, watch documentaries, converse with interesting people, take a course, go travelling. There’s so many options available.

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I fail to mention the most important aspect in all of this. God. He’s got your back. Show your gratitude daily, even if it’s in your own way and not conventional. What is meant to be, will be. Trust and believe.

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